On Having a Baby and Having “It All”

As a lady with a job, and a blog, and a soon-to-be husband and step-son… who would (I think) someday like to have a little bugger of my own… believe me when I say that I fully believe in and support the idea of “having it all.” Meaning nothing more than that, someday, I would really like to be able to have both a job, and a kid… as successfully as possible.

That said, I’ve been meaning to comment on Anne Marie Slaughter’s Atlantic piece because, well, I’m pretty sure she’s right… and the whole “it all” thing is a little more complicated than any of us would really like.

So — I’m not sure if the article has had quite the reach or impact on the entire country that it has on women here in Washington (do fill me in — and if you haven’t read it, do it now… then please come back and discuss) but I think it’s pretty safe to say that here… where many of us young ladies look up to Anne Marie (maybe we’ve even worked with her, or near her) and see ourselves (dream of one day) stepping into very similar shoes… well, it’s safe to say that the piece has shaken things up a bit.

The Santa Ynez Valley

Pinch me.  This is where I’m going to get married.

This place could not be any more beautiful… and if the weather is not always perfect (which I suspect that it is) it was certainly perfect for us.

We had a lovely flight (Virgin America is the best) and arrived in LA for a quick tour and a gorgeous drive up PCH before settling into our beautiful guest house in Los Olivos.  We stayed just a few miles over the mountain from the place where we’ll be married this November, and got just a little taste of what we’re in for (OMG the sunsets).  In between cake tastings, food tastings (pics of those to come) and more than a few fantastic wine tastings, we took in the sights and ate a seriously copious amount of food at Sides Hardware and Shoes (that brioche french toast?  unreal) and El Rancho Market.

But I have to say, the most fantastic thing about the whole trip was the peace of mind I gained when I realized that each and every vendor we chose was not just great… but drop-dead amazing.

They are amazing… and I can’t say enough.  These people are not just talented, but absolutely wonderful, professional, and kind… I couldn’t be more excited to work with them all this November.

I couldn’t be more excited to go back to this place!

Photos: Courtesy of my lovely fiancé.

Friday Link Love

Glen Proebstel

Okay, I don’t know if this is hitting anyone else like a ton of bricks… but Thanksgiving is oh, about six days away.  Somehow it really managed to sneak up on me this year.  I’m not sure how.  My Pinterest is already beginning to fill with trees and lights and wrapping paper… but somehow it still feels like October.  Somewhere in between the emails and ideas and eBay purchases (all for the wedding) I forgot to prepare for the holidays.

Which is not to say that I’m not ready to bake some pies (my meager contribution to this year’s dinner) but more to say that, mentally, I’m not sure I’m ready for it to be Thanksgiving.

When I was young, Thanksgiving was always an event.  Family came from out of town and my grandparents welcomed them with a warm home and a huge meal.  We dressed up, we caught up, the adults drank singapore slings (silly, but my grandpa makes an amazing singapore sling — in a fashion that looks much less like the Caribbean and much more like the holidays — and it’s one of my most cherished traditions).

Since I left home, Thanksgiving has somehow managed to slip farther and farther from the agenda.  My family is spread all over the country, and my sister has a large family of her own.  Since the holiday break is a short one we don’t usually travel, and everyone ends up celebrating in their own separate way.  Sadly, because of this, a lot of the sentiment is lost.

We still have a celebration.  Mark’s family live close by.  Their home is warm and they always have a huge, delicious meal… none of that has changed.  But I miss my family the most this time of year.

My mom mentioned that we might need to think of a new tradition that brings us all together… and I think she’s right.  This needs to be done.  Had Thanksgiving not been so sneaky this year, creeping up behind me like that, I might have managed to brainstorm a few ideas already… but, not so much.

Any creative solutions you employ to get your own family together for the holidays?  Or have you settled into your own unique traditions?

If you still live close, give your mom a big hug for me at Thanksgiving this year, and don’t forget to take the time to appreciate just how lucky you are.

Here are a few things I’m loving…

Like I said, I’ve given in to the Christmas bug… come on, it’s only one week early, and look at these.  They are amazing.

I want to go to the Portland Bazaar — and if you do, I hope you’ll tell me all about it.  I want to live vicariously.

Great advice on blogging from Kat.

This chair, after… yes please.

Necessary.

Do you know how beautiful you would look on my feet?

Super cute and easy DIY glittered flatware.

Speaking of Thanksgiving.

Time Management

Hyperbole and a Half

So, right now I should be:

1)   Cleaning my house.
2)   Writing a reaction to today’s Washington Post story on Iran.
3)   Responding to emails.
4)   Reading emails.
5)   Finding and booking vendors I have left to book.
6)   Showering.

Not to mention the long list of much bigger tasks on my to-do list: writing a book, learning a language… that guitar under the bed?

The list is long, but it has always been long and that’s okay.  I have a lot of goals for myself, and that’s a good thing.  Unfortunately, it also means I’m busy about one hundred and two percent of the time — pre-wedding planning.

To be honest, I’m not quite sure I realized the amount of time wedding planning would manage to suck out of the day to day.  So, for the first time (probably ever – I actually used to think I was pretty good at this) I find myself examining lists of time (and stress) management techniques… looking for a little help.

I imagine this topic is universal to a lot of brides… but it’s funny.  When I Google “time management and weddings,” all I seem to find is a grouping of checklists and possible schedules… and let me tell you, the last thing I need is another checklist.

I am fully aware of the long list of things that I still need to make a decision on.

No.  What I need are those real, time-tested, techniques that every college and university seems to have its own personalized copy of for incoming students… except, different…

Pick Your Own

The weather over Labor Day weekend wasn’t the best, but there was this one day… so Mark and I decided to seize it as best we could.

We visited a local winery, Black Ankle Vineyards (they do weddings in case you’re looking!) and a pick your own wildflower field… and Mark is playing with a new camera, so I got to play model!

Photos by Dirt Hill Photography

Time for Fall

Photo by Jose Villa via SMP

Wow!  Fall came fast here in DC.  I’m already breaking out the long sleeves and gearing up for hibernation.

It’s funny, even though this time of year is my very favorite (pumpkin ice cream, apple cider, the weather, the leaves!) I can’t help but get a little pit in my stomach every fall knowing that winter is just around the corner.  I’ve been so cozy and warm all this time… and winter is cold for a west coast girl out here in the east.  I guess I should be happy I don’t live farther north!

Asking Dad

I’m going to let this letter speak for itself, because actually (amazing engagement and all) I think this is my favorite part:

Maryland to Oregon

David,

You have watched her grow from a shy toddler to a driven young woman.  You helped inspire her and worked to teach her what you know.  Because of you she has the confidence to speak her mind and she has a love for music only second to yours.  You have given her the ability to always look at things for what they are and what they are not.  You showed her she could dream and you helped her any way you could to reach for them.  She has become the striking woman she is in part because of you.

I have fallen in love with the woman that you and Leanna have raised.  I respect the person she is and the family she comes from.  For that reason, I am sending you this letter to hopefully gain the same respect from you.  On July 4, 2011, I will ask Laicie to marry me and hope for your consent?  There is little more important to a girl than her father’s approval.  It would mean a lot to me as well.

At this point you might be wondering what the bottle of gin is for.  Is it a gift?  Is it a bribe?  It is neither of those things.  It is purely that if you don’t condone the marriage and Laicie says yes, I thought you might need a drink.  You can supply the limes and tonic.

With love,

Mark

I start crying all over again just reading it.

A Confession

Photo Credit: Jose Villa

I have been planning this day longer than I care to admit.

And yes, I do mean since I was a little girl… but that’s not the confession.  What I’m really talking about here is that for the past year, I have been poring over wedding blogs, searching for venues, researching photographers and caterers… all of it.  I may have jumped the gun a little.

In what I’m sure was an awful year for my poor boyfriend, I stopped short of only two things:

1) Wedding Magazines

For some reason, I didn’t bat an eyelash at the 30 wedding blogs happily waiting for their daily visit in my Google Reader, but the act of purchasing a full-fledged copy of Brides was just too much.  I have no logical explanation here, logic just doesn’t come into play in this scenario.

I can tell you that I wanted that DIY issue of Martha Stewart Weddings so bad it hurt.

2) My Own Blog

Yes, so that would have truly been crazy.  But again, I really wanted one.

Now, I do have to blame him a little.  The year began with an innocent trip to the local jeweler… to, you know, decide what cut of diamond was my favorite… totally innocent…  He joked that it would be another 5 years or so, but if he was shopping… ?

I was pretty sure that the proposal was just around the corner.  Then a few months passed… and a few more.  We went on an unbelievably romantic vacation to Hawaii… found ourselves lingering in some of our favorite spots… fell in love a little more… a few more months.

It was a slow form of torture.

On July 4, 2011, he asked me.  It was arguably the best proposal ever staged in the history of life.

It was so worth the wait.

So here I am.  I’ve been planning for a year, but the funny thing is, nothing is planned.  I have a Pinterest full of pins and a not-so-small obsession with the inspiration board feature on Style Me Pretty, but when the planning turns real, everything changes.  Example: I was certain I had my venue all picked out.  I called shortly after our engagement to check on dates, only to learn that everything I had assumed was exactly the opposite.  My backup venue?  Same deal.

So even though I’ve been planning this forever, I’m really just starting from scratch.  It’s so exciting and so terrifying all at the same time… and I can’t wait to get started!