A Not So Quiet Sunday

by Laicie


Do you ever just have a pit in your stomach that won’t leave?  Or your throat, maybe…

Things have been busy around here.  Super busy.  So busy that it just doesn’t seem to stop… except now it’s the weekend and I’ve done almost nothing for two days, and I’ve still got the pit.

The list is so long.

We’ve ticked off a load, but it seems that for every item scratched off, another five pile up…

And the thing is that when planning a wedding, especially when taking on the majority of the financial burden, you start out with so many unknowns… and the price seems to rise with each revelation.

I’m starting to worry about just how far the cost might go.

I can see the utility of a wedding planner, here.  Not because of the organizing and design, necessarily… that part is fun.  More because a wedding planner is able to remain removed from the emotion of the day.  To look at a budget and stick to it no matter what…

This is not my strongest suit.

I can see all of the options… the ways to cut corners… but somewhere in the back of my head is a little voice that says, “This is going to be the most important day of your life… you’ll regret it if you really cut corners.”  Of course, I’ll regret a big load of debt too… right?

And I’ve heard both sides.  Some folks look back later in life when their financials have recovered and wish they hadn’t worried so much about money.  They wish they had gone with that one perfect vendor they passed up.  Others soak themselves in massive debt and wish they had just gone with something simple… so there’s not exactly a consensus.

But to be totally honest… I’m not sure my mind could be changed by consensus.

We’ve spent at least a third of our budget on photography and videography, and I’m okay with that.  Photos and a wedding film will last forever and, to me, that is worth the additional cost.

On the other hand, we plan to arrange our own flowers, forego a full bar for beer and wine (maybe a signature cocktail), and thrift most of our decor (whatever we can’t just borrow from my parents’ own antique collection)… plus we saved a boatload by going with a November wedding, rather than September (our first choice) and by choosing a venue that also includes lodging.

We plan to leave Holgas around for folks to take party pictures, rather than going for something like a photo booth, and will use vintage transistor radios to blast our ceremony and cocktail hour playlist, rather than hire two separate bands or pay for the extra hours…

Honestly I think some of our best ideas have come as a result of an effort to cut costs wherever we can… so in one way, cutting corners can be good!  But I don’t want to, say, skip a live band altogether… or miss out on the family style meal I’ve always envisioned… and I don’t want to force my friends and family to take on too many responsibilities.  I would so much rather have them there by my side, truly enjoying the day.

So in the end I guess it’s all about tradeoffs… I hate debt, but I’m not sure I hate it enough to forego the things we really want… and up until this point, we have managed to avoid any of the bad kind of debt… so we’re not in the worst position.

I just have to somehow manage to calm that pit…

So… can we talk debt?  Did you end up in any/a lot as a result of your big day?  And do you regret it now, or was it crazy worth it in the end?

I would love to hear all about it… I’m not subscribing to any of that, we can’t talk about money, stuff… I think brides need this kind of advice as much as any…

I certainly do.